Grounding: One Size Does Not Fit All
If you've ever found yourself caught in a state of anxiety, overwhelm, or distress, you may have heard the term grounding mentioned as a helpful tool. But what is grounding? And, more importantly, how do you know if it’s right for you?
Let’s take a look.
What Is Grounding?
Grounding is the process of bringing your attention back to the here-and-now. It can be especially helpful during times of emotional distress, panic, or when experiencing flashbacks. Essentially, grounding aims to calm the nervous system and help you feel more stable and safe in the present moment.
It’s about making room in your mind for the part of the brain that reflects and reasons, instead of the part that just reacts.
How Grounding Works
While there are many different ways to practise grounding, here are a few of the core ideas behind it:
1. Shifting Focus
When we’re overwhelmed by anxiety or distress, our attention often becomes consumed by intense inner experiences—thoughts, memories, sensations. Grounding helps shift that focus away from the then-and-there, and helps us feel connected to the here-and-now.
2. Anchoring to the Present
Many grounding techniques use the five senses—sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste—to reconnect us to the present. But grounding can also be mental, emotional, or even spiritual. Some people find comfort in a soothing phrase, a piece of music, a prayer, or a memory of someone kind.
3. Calming the Nervous System
When we feel overwhelmed, our nervous system can go into survival mode. In these moments, the brain is doing what it’s wired to do—prioritising survival over reflection or reasoning. Grounding can help bring the ‘front brain’—the part responsible for thinking, problem solving and being curious—back online. In doing so, we may start to feel a little more in control.
What Grounding Isn’t
Sometimes it’s just as important to name what something isn’t:
It’s not simply relaxing. While grounding might bring a sense of calm, its main goal is to help you feel safe and present. Safety is personal—and what feels safe to one person may not feel safe to another.
It’s not about getting rid of distress. Feeling upset is not something we need to fix or erase. Emotions need to be witnessed, felt, and met with kindness. Grounding isn’t about stopping someone from being upset—it’s about finding a steady place within the upset.
It’s not a one-size-fits-all checklist. Grounding isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about connection, not perfection.
If Grounding Doesn’t Work for You
You may have tried grounding techniques before—breathing exercises, 5-4-3-2-1 sensory practices, mindfulness apps—and felt… nothing. Or worse, felt more distressed. If that’s your experience, you're not alone.
It Might Be the Method
Sometimes, the technique just doesn’t fit. For example, deep breathing is often recommended—but if you’ve experienced trauma, particularly involving the breath or body, focusing on your breath might feel more activating than calming.
There are so many suggestions out there—lists, worksheets, YouTube videos—and while these can be helpful, they don’t all speak to everyone. That’s ok.
Take your time. Experiment gently. This isn’t a task to tick off, but a process of discovering what helps you feel safe.
Maybe Your Path Is a Different One
For some people, grounding just doesn’t resonate—and that’s also ok. Healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. You might find your steadiness in something else entirely: singing, drumming, yoga, gardening, being around animals, walking in the woods.
There is no single “right” way to heal. And there is certainly no rush.
A Final Thought
In the therapy room—and in life—one size truly does not fit all. Grounding can be a useful companion on your path, but it’s not the only one. What matters most is finding what works for you.
If you’d like to look at some suggested techniques…
