“What’s wrong with me?” -Understanding the Quiet Power of Shame

Shame is a universal emotion — something we will all likely experience at some point in our lives. It might feel like a deep, uncomfortable feeling of being judged, rejected, or not measuring up. Often, it creeps in quietly, and many of us carry it without even realising.

So what exactly is shame? It’s more than just feeling bad about something we’ve done — it’s a feeling that we are bad, unlovable, or not good enough. Whether it stems from past experiences, relationships, or social pressures, shame can shape the way we see ourselves and how we relate to others.

The experience of shame can be devastating. It may make us feel powerless, rejected, isolated and fundamentally flawed— as though there’s something wrong with who we are. And because shame itself feels shameful, we tend to hide it, pushing it down or avoiding it altogether. But left unaddressed, it can quietly influence our decisions, behaviour, and emotional wellbeing.

Healing from Shame

While shame can feel overwhelming, it is something we can begin to heal from. One of the most powerful ways to begin healing is by sharing our feelings with someone we trust. Whether it’s a friend, a loved one, or a counsellor, speaking about our shame in a safe, compassionate space can be deeply relieving. When we’re met with understanding instead of judgement, shame begins to lose its power.

In counselling, the process of exploring and naming shame in a supportive environment can help us reconnect with our self-worth, challenge negative beliefs, and begin to feel less alone.

If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone — and support is available